Last Sunday,for the third year in a row, we attended the Compassionate Friends' Worldwide Candle Lighting with our friend in Tucson. He is Joe's high school and college buddy and our own personal Clint Eastwood, a real tough guy. Three years ago he lost his son and namesake in a tragic death at the age of 32. No more tough guy. It almost broke him. By good fortune, he found the Compassionate Friends - an international self-help group for bereaved parents and their families. It has helped him cope with his grief - although he will never overcome it.
Joe and I joined him lighting candles in the memory of his son and the deceased children of the other 300 people who gathered that night. There is not a more devastating sight - than that of parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles and friends gathering together, creating a circle of flickering candles. All of them have have lost a child. Don't ever try to console them by saying "I know how you feel." You can't, I can't, no one can who has not lost a child themselves.
This is a joyous season and I don't mean to strike a negative note. I just want to make a suggestion. Those of you out there who may be estranged from a parent, a child, a sibling, a friend - reach out to make the relationship whole. Whatever came between you cannot be as bad as losing that loved one. Of the people I talked to last Sunday night- those with the deepest sorrow were those who lost their children during a period of silence.
If you have lost a child, consider finding a Compassionate Friends group near you. I have seen their power to console. http://www.compassionatefriends.org/home.aspx
Whoever coined the phrase "reach out and touch someone" had it right. So reach out and talk to, write to, hug, or forgive.
...Tis the season.
Here’s your new Puzzler for July!
11 years ago