Time To Come Together

 Last Sunday,for the third year in a row, we attended the Compassionate Friends' Worldwide Candle Lighting with our friend in Tucson.  He is Joe's high school and college buddy and our own personal Clint Eastwood, a real tough guy. Three years ago he lost his son and namesake in a tragic death at the age of 32.  No more tough guy.  It almost broke him.  By good fortune,  he found the Compassionate Friends  - an international self-help group for bereaved parents and their families.  It has helped him cope with his grief - although he will  never overcome it. 

Joe and I joined him  lighting candles in the memory of his son and the deceased children of the other 300 people who gathered that night. There is not a more devastating sight - than that of  parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles and friends gathering together, creating a circle of flickering candles. All of them have have lost a child.  Don't ever try to console them by saying "I know how you feel."  You can't, I can't, no one can who has not lost a child themselves.

This is a joyous season and I don't mean to strike a negative note.   I just want to make a suggestion.  Those of you out there who may be estranged from a parent, a child, a sibling, a friend - reach out to make the relationship whole.  Whatever came between you cannot be as bad as losing that loved one.  Of the people I talked to last Sunday night- those with the deepest sorrow were those who lost their children during a period of silence.

If you have lost a child, consider finding a Compassionate Friends group near you.  I have seen their power to console.    http://www.compassionatefriends.org/home.aspx

Whoever coined the phrase "reach out and touch someone" had it right.  So reach out and talk to,  write to, hug, or forgive. 

...Tis the season.